Mistakes she knew she was making

A not-so-very-happy chinese new year to you all.

I was having one of those fortune cookies the other day and the tiny little piece of paper inside it said
"learn from others' mistakes."

(No, I usually don't give a shit bout what it says, but this time, I did!)

I don't think I can do that. It's not that I want to do what I did or get any satisfaction out of doing it, I just couldn't really help it. I guess a part of me just really needed to screw something up really badly and well, learn from it.

What I did, it's nothing new, really (some of you might already know that), but to actually feel how I feel now about it, hm, that's pretty damn new for me. It's hard, yes, but I guess it's even harder to actually mend things. When karma starts kicking your ass, you'll know what I'm trying to say.

At this point, I have nothing to say anymore. It doesn't matter anyway. Perhaps, you are right or that it just wasn't meant to be but either way, it has happened and if apologizing doesn't make a difference, I don't know what else to do but to just sit and wait patiently.

The only thing that keeps me going now is knowing that I won't be alone when the clock strikes 12 on the 14th. I'm looking forward to the "fun" and shit we're gonna be doing that night.

You assholes better not ditch me. Leanne, I know you have Roy now and Sharon, you have Ani but screw them for a night and chill with me la k. Rihanna is not worth going for. But hallelujah, even if you guys are that horrible and heartless, I still have Sam! But still, 3 is better than one, and you know you love the jam session!