green tea does not taste like fish!

These past few days has been... pretty eventful (not in a good way). I hate CNY (except for the part where I get ang paus). I put on weight ha ha ha ha ha ha.. Ink Heart is crap. And I found out that.. AARON GOES TO COCO BANANA HAHAHHAHAHA! Now we all know why he decided to keep his hair that way HAHA!

aotj-4kmndh

I am so fucking tired my god i cant even process things properly anymore. i made people repeat what they say 3 times. at the very least. you know what, sleeping at 6.30 and waking up at 10 isnt gonna work anymore. argh i need to sleep but i cant sleep for more than 4 hours. god this is insane. i cant even talk properly anymore hahahha im so retarded and i can barely open my already very tiny eyes shit shit shit

"are you sure you want to write that?"

I have a feeling I'm gonna keep rewriting until I get the perfect thing and then not give it at all. Damn!

Rabbit Hill!

'Happy you feel as you climb up along its ears, almost falling into its cavernous mouth, to the belly-summit and look out over the pink woolen landscape of the rabbit's body, a country dropped from the sky; ears and limbs sneaking into the distance; from its side flowing heart, liver and intestines. Happily in love you step down the decaying corpse, through the wound, now small like a maggot, over woolen kidney and bowel. Happy you leave like the larva that gets its wings from an innocent carcass at the roadside. Such is the happiness which made this rabbit.'

intensity

When I was sitting by the cold metal platform, I remembered. I remembered everything that happened, every word that you've once said. I thought bout then and I thought bout how it is now. The only constant that I could think of is that I am still that foolish now as I was before.

I've always known what's good or me and what's not but somehow, I always end up going for the bad anyway. Maybe it is the thrill that I really like. Maybe I just want to not follow the rules. Either way, for once in my life, I want something that's good.

All this while, what I need and what I want has never been the same. But lately, it's been the same. It just hit me hard out of the blue. I find this really crazy. I was just so certain that I did not have it in me. And now it's just lingering behind each thought, making it impossible to ignore. I don't really want to think bout it. I'm just so afraid that one day I'll realize that I made a really big mistake.

Food Cup.

I'm sick of puzzles.

I think I'm going crazy. I've only gotten around 10 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. I can't seem to sleep longer than 3 hours. I don't know if it's because of the lack of sleep but I'm starting to realize things I've never realized before. I'm not sure if I like to know this much. Have I found you, flightless bird, or lost you, straying dog?

Teeth sinking into heart

If you're living, you don't stand a chance..

SOS

Hello, again, blog. I'm back to rant more (because my bodybuilder doesn't have the time of day for me anymore, sigh)

You know what's not fun? Well, going through this detox program. I honestly feel like I'm dying, inside and out. Ever since this started (which was only 2 days ago) I haven't been getting much sleep. It's not that I don't have the time, it's that can't sleep. Which I wouldn't mind as much if I can actually concentrate on my work, which I (obviously) can't. I can't even think straight anymore.

Great, now the flu's getting to me. It comes and goes every 5 minutes. ARGH!

ANYWAY, guess what...

So when you're near me, darling can't you hear me..
SOS

Assholes!

I am tired and cranky and I have a shit lot of work to do and blah blah blah!

Bed ridden

I finally, finally used my brain. I finally worked it out. So anyway, I woke up today feeling all productive and shit so I tried (notice how I emphasized it?) finishing up my homework. But of course, that feeling only lasted for bout half an hour or so. I closed my add math book as soon as I finished one out of the ten thousand questions that I've been told to do. No, I did not take half an hour to figure that question out, I did some reading. For komsas, I mean. It was boring ass shit. That took up the remaining 25 minutes. I have to say, I'm very proud of myself. I did the most productive thing ever after that; I went back to bed!

Racism

Matt, you ARE a racist and you will go to hell for saying that!

Hopeless Romantic,

I am. I feel it when I'm baking, which I hardly ever anymore because a) I don't eat what I bake, b) there's no specific occasion and c) it's just depressing when all you really want to do is bake for someone you love (not including your family), when I'm drinking red wine and listening to some A. R. I feel it when I wake up in the middle of the night and just stare out the window. I cry from it when I watch "Gilmore Girls" or "My Fair Lady" (yes I can cry watching it) or "Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants" or "Something's Gotta Give" or any other love story filled with yearning and angst from the 90's. It's a full time investment of emotion, leaves me looking for more, expecting more from the everyday and feeling consumed by it when that magic moment happens. Shit.

Knock knock

Hello Sling? When the fuck are you gonna start opening your eyes?

Salads

I heard you the other day, I did. But I don't know what it means. Please enlighten me!

school!

I have a problem, yes yes, I do. Now I'm not gonna tell you what my problem is. Because, as you see, I don't like people like you to know. I hate all you assholes out there who just can't seem to mind your own fucking business. Hm, okay, so maybe that's my problem; you.

2009

I saw your face look down to mine. I only hope that you're alright. I heard the things you said. I'm not sure what it could mean. It's been another day. It's funny how there's always fireworks. I felt the little tug in there, did you?