Dear Jean Lude,

Many thanks for your wise words. I'm sure I'll do exactly that. And no, it was not drugs, alcohol or sex. I'm not really in any (as you call it) deep shit. I'm just having some personal problems like every other teenager in this world.

But I do like to know what you've gone through to actually give a shit bout what I wrote? I'm sure, like me, you are once (or are you still?) an idiot too.

shoot the fucking star

Making an effort, isn't so easy.
But I try. (most of the time)
But I can't do this by myself.

I guess when words fail, actions do the job.
But I suppose my actions have gone to waste?
Because, I don't think it actually makes a difference.

I think I know now what I've always suspected but ignored.
Then again, I'm sure the end, as desperate as this may sound,
I'll still be begging you for more.

It's as if you've come along too soon.
I was trying to fit you in but I can't find the room.
And when I finally do,
Well, I'm sure I don't actually have to say it.
(We all know)

Sigh, I don't even know what am I going on and on about anymore.

you promised.

If you have been there lately, you wouldn't have to ask. You would have known. I don't have to choose. It's clear.

J & C

Rest in peace, Joni & Chachi. =/

Bones

literally.

I played with human bones today. It's really cool. And, I actually liked playing with it. I made jokes out of it. I enjoyed touching it. Yes, it that's how desperate I've gotten lately. I'm not sure if it's a male or female's bones. They are kinda jumbled up. I hope it's the same person? If it's not then, I guess I've been touching a lot of dead people in one night. Feels pretty damn weird. It's actually much smaller than I thought. Almost tiny. Then again, I guess people in India suffered from starvation, so, they're built are generally smaller than us?

Ok, I'm gonna stop trying to be smart.

Miss This & That

I have a clue as to what I want,
but,
at the same time,
still not too entirely sure.
I need to be sure.
It's gonna be there,
for good,
so,
I need to make up my very complicated mind.


I don't think I'm talking bout what you think I'm talking about.

don't you know who you are

we can piece it back together
and i,
well i can learn to trust you too